


and I am telling you / I'm not going

by ameliajessica



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: (Seriously There's a Lot of Sleeping), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing, literally sleeping together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8737273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ameliajessica/pseuds/ameliajessica
Summary: "Be my guest," he spat at her, reaching across to push the door open. or: an alternate take on the few days after Seth and Kate were meant to go their separate ways in season 2.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caramelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelle/gifts).



> SO! I haven't actually done a re-watch so forgive any canon irregularities.
> 
> yes the title is from dreamgirls. hope that's not true distracting. it probably is oops
> 
> OH! and this fic is dedicated to caramelle, whose amazing work both inspired me to work harder at this and also intimated me into a rut for a few days because 'holy shit will I ever write anything this good?'. probably not! read her stuff instead! she is also called mel and she is very nice.

"Be my guest," he spat at her, reaching across to push the door open.

She looked at him with a gentleness he didn't know how she could muster, after what they had seen. More accurately, why she mustered it - what had he done to deserve it? With a soft, "thanks," she got out. He let the loud sound of the door slamming behind him ring in his ears as he turned the key again.

But then he saw her face in the rearview, and realised just how much of a fucking asshole he was being. "Shit," he said to himself, and put the car in reverse.

He drove up next to her. "Listen, let me just get you across the line and then you never have to see me again. How does that sound?"

He hated how she seemed genuinely surprised that he didn't actually let her wander the Mexican desert in the middle of the night. Still, she nodded and got back in.

"We'll stop at the nearest motel for the night, and then we’ll head off in the morning," he told her but she was already curling up in the seat, facing away from him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You want first shower?" he said, his voice coming out unintentionally gruff having not used it the past however many hours.

Kate nodded once again, and how it hurt to see her like that. Quiet. Defeated. He didn’t have any strong feelings for the Rafa kid but he'd go down to hell and drag him back himself if it painted a damn smile on her face.

It was only when there was a quiet spot in the movie he put on TV that he heard her crying in the bathroom. He jumped up, heart rate spiking up like he had heard a gunshot.

"Kate," he said, banging on the door. He knew exactly why she was crying but it still didn't sit well with him to just be there, not doing anything, on the other side of the door. "Kate, let me in."

There was no response, but he tried the doorknob and the door opened. Wrapped in a towel, Kate sat on the floor, with her back against the wall and her knees pulled up to her chest. For a moment he was so torn with grief to see her that he just stood there, helpless. With a hiccup she looked up at him and it snapped the reverie, and he jumped forward towards her, helpless in a different way. She looked up at him with those eyes and how could he not hand over every part of him to help her?

"Come here," he said gently, sliding his arms around her back and under her legs. In one hand, he grabbed the t-shirt and joggers she'd brought to change into. She buried her face in his neck and cried louder.

He put her down to sit on the side of the bed. He guided her through putting the t-shirt on, raising her arms for her and pulling it down to her stomach. Next he helped her into a standing position and steadied her to step into the sweatpants.

When he pulled back the covers and tucked her in, he knelt down next to her, pushing her wet hair away from her face. She'd managed to finish the shower - he could tell from the smell of the motel shampoo. He stood back up but she stopped him, grabbed his hand.

"Wha - where are you going?" she said, not without panic.

"I was gonna go grab food."

"Oh." She softened, but kept her grip, moving her hand further up his arm. "Could you - could you go later?"

He blinked down at her. "Uh sure. Do you... want me to stay?" He said it slowly, feeling like the question was obvious but he couldn’t imagine she’d want to around anyone right now, let alone him.

"If that's okay."

"Of - of course!" he said, laughing a little incredulously. "I'll just... be on the couch, then."

He felt her watching him as he turned his back, and met her gaze when he finally turned and sat, facing her. It felt intense, oddly intimate, as they sat opposite each other, silently regarding one another. But she really was exhausted, because it wasn't long before he saw her eyes drooping. Then her breathing slowed, relaxing, and he was crossing his arms, resting his eyes and falling asleep himself.

A few hours later he jerked awake, and he looked over to see Kate's eyes already on him. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," he croaked back, rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Just before ten."

"Crap, we should eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"We should eat," he insisted.

"By the time we find anything it'll be closed."

"Shit," he said. "Well, let's check the minibar."

Kate said nothing. When he tossed her a couple of Kit Kats and some nuts, she held them with reverence. "You never let us eat out of the minibar," she said pointedly.  
  
'We were both in a gunfight, you just watched your friend die for you and the only company you've got for comfort is me,' he didn't say. "One time won't bankrupt us," he said dismissively.

Wanting to have some noise other than her carefully opening the wrapper, he cleared his throat. "Wanna watch a movie?" he said.

"Sure," Kate shrugged, daintily breaking the Kit Kit. As he picked up the remote and tried to work the TV, he heard her call out, "Um!"

He turned his head. She was looking at him, nervous. "You don't have to be over there. Or even, sleep over there. The bed's big enough."

"Are you - are you sure?"

“Yeah. I mean… unless you don’t want to.”  
  
“No, I don’t care!” he said quickly, then flinched to himself. “I meant - I mean, it’s..."  
  
“Seth, it’s fine,” she said, somewhat impatient.  
  
“Thank you,” he exhaled, settling in next to her.

He fiddled with the remote, trying to get the language settings from Spanish to English. He was just about ready to throw against the wall when Kate picked it out of his hand.  
  
“I can’t speak Spanish, princess,” he reminded her.  
  
“I’ll translate for you,” she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. It startled him but he was afraid to show it, and startle her or make her uncomfortable or self-conscious in return. A part of him also just didn’t want to break the spell. Like always, he couldn't believe how she didn't just blindly hate him.  
  
The woman on screen said, “gracīas,” to the store clerk, who smiled back and responded in kind. He could have guessed what it was, but he still leant down and asked, softly, “What’d he say?”  
  
He thought she might roll her eyes and tell him to not be lazy, but she stretched her neck and pressed closer to him. “He said he hopes to see her again soon.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Waking her the next morning proved a lot harder than he would have thought it. Achingly, he remembered rushed mornings of pulling the sheets off her bed, roughly switching on the lights or opening blinds, all to protesting squeals from Kate. In a way, he felt bad for his careless treatment when he saw her sleeping form, but he also missed the familiarity, and the ease. She may have woken up jarringly and pissed off but she would throw a pillow at him, unafraid to snarl that he was an asshole as she stormed to the bathroom and deliberately took 40 minutes. This gentleness, delicacy they were now using around each other… scared him. What it seems to be unfolding - vulnerability, intimacy - in his chest, scared him.  
  
He had a vague recollection of jolting awake in the middle of the night, to the sound of laughter coming from the TV, and finding Kate already asleep on him. Slow with sleep, he curled an arm around her back and scooted them both further down onto the bed and off the wall. It caused her to stir, whimpering confusedly and trying to force her eyes open. He hushed her, settling her across from him. Pushing her hair away from her face, he waited until her face calmed before closing his eyes and falling back asleep himself.  
  
It somewhat explained the position he found himself in when he finally woke up again, for real. Kate, fists clenched around his shirt, face into pressed into his neck and his arms around her back again. He pulled back to look at her, heart rate spiking for the brief moment his face was close to hers, her nose brushing his chin.  
  
“Hey,” he said, surprising himself with how careful he was being. How careful he was able to be.  
  
She blinked up at him, craning her neck and then startling with their proximity. She put some distance between them, but a lot less than he would have expected.  
  
“So,” he said, rolling over to face the ceiling. Meeting her eye seemed too much. “I know I said that I would just get you over the border but… once we do I think we should still lay low to make sure no-one followed us out. You, out,” he corrected himself. “And I know a place.”  
  
Kate was quiet, tracing a pattern in the mattress, the backs of her fingers brushing against his arm. His heart _thump thump thumped_ at her touch, and at the anticipation of her answer. Had the stillness of last night finally broken? Would she want to get across the border, and never see him again?

Begin her search for Scott or start rebuilding the life he had stolen from her the moment they locked eyes through the windshield of that godforsaken RV?

"Where are we going?" she said after a while.

"Somewhere safe. At least for the night."

"Where's 'safe'?"

"My... uncle's."

"You have an uncle?"

"He’s, uh, an old buddy of my dad’s. Not blood, but… close enough. Closer, maybe.” He cleared his throat, surprised at himself. “Eddie."  
  
“Uncle Eddie?”

“That’s what I call him,” he said, laughing lightly. “He’s got shop. It’s not the Ritz, but it’s inconspicuous, and somewhere to keep quiet for another day.  
  
“Let’s go to Uncle Eddie’s,” she said, smiling a little. “And then… we’ll...”  
  
Split. She didn’t say. She didn’t need to.  
  
“Right,” he swallowed. Then, taking a deep breath, he slid his arm out from under her and said, “Breakfast?”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It took them the rest of the day to drive through. The ride was mostly quiet. They weren’t exactly back to normal - but… that was okay, somehow. It felt like a more solid foundation for the two of them to be together. It took a lot to reach a boiling point and not evaporate into nothing. They were still something, and that felt like a lot.  
  
They reached Eddie’s later that day. Kate was already rubbing her eyes, and Seth was feeling drained himself from the travel. Having called him once they were on American soil, Eddie opened the door not long after they got in the driveway and the car lights went down.  
  
Seth got out and went round the other side to open Kate’s door. She blinked sleepily at him and he smiled, taking her hand to help her out. Eddie stopped in his tracks when he saw them. Saw her, more specifically. He’d not mentioned he had company - least of all an 18-year-old girl who looked like she walked straight out of a fairy tale. Seth dropped Kate’s hand.  
  
Seth gave him a look, and Eddie said nothing. Shrugging, he gave Seth a one-armed hug and turned to Kate saying, “Eddie. Pleasure to meet you, little lady.” He held out his hand.  
  
Kate took it, managing to muster a shy smile and say, “Kate. Thank you for letting me stay.”  
  
He eyed Seth bemusedly. “Family has to be there for each other, always.”  
  
“Always,” Kate agreed softly, looking saddened again. Seth clapped two hands and asked if they could come in. Eddie ushered them in.  
  
Inside, he looked between them a few times before sighing in defeat. “You guys decide on sleeping arrangements. Seth, you know where the spare room is. I’ll be around in the morning for coffee and eggs, if you guys want it.”  
  
Seth looked back Kate, who looked so small and delicate in this loudly masculine space. Giving her the couch was obviously not an option, and certainly not here. He handed her bag to her. “It’s the second door, there. You take it.”  
  
Kate’s wide, wide eyes looked reluctantly from the door to Seth. “You’ve been driving all day, you should sleep on a real bed.”  
  
“I don’t need a real bed to sleep, princess, the couch will do just fine.”  
  
“But--”  
  
“Kate. Take the bed. I’ll be fine.”  
  
She didn’t look entirely convinced, but she nodded and went to the room.  
  
He woke up, in the dark, with his name being hissed. Kate stood over him, wide, wide eyes, and a blanket clutched around her. At seeing her, he sat up, alert. “Kate, what’s wrong? Are you all right?”  
  
Kate opened her mouth to answer but stopped, face crumbling and leant into him, and he realised. Of course not. It hadn’t even been two days since Rafa died. What a stupid question. His hand went tentatively to the space between her shoulder blades, but she pulled back. “The bed’s… small, but I can’t sleep alone.”  
  
She looked meaningfully at Seth and he nodded, “Okay, yeah, sure.”  
  
The bed was small, he thought, looking at it. He couldn’t see how he was going to fit in it, let alone the two of them. Kate moved around him, sitting down on the side of the bed. She looked up at him, and it was like suddenly knowing the answer. Or suddenly knowing that there was always going to be an answer - a way. He sat on the other side of the bed, back pressed to the wall, facing her. Giving her just enough space of her own. Literally giving her the space to choose.  
  
Kate inched closer, one hand on his waist. The other brushed his collarbone and she sighed shakily, pressing her forehead there, tucking her head between his chest and his arm, stretched out across the pillow. Seth wrapped his arms around her form, rocking slowly, gently, until her breathing shuddered out and mellowed. It hit him just how easier it was to relax for him as well, to have her there, safe. To hold her and know she was there, with him.

The smell of her freshly washed hair in his nose, he followed her in no time at all.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"How'd you two end up together anyway?" Eddie asked him over breakfast.

Seth looked towards the door of the bedroom where he'd left Kate sleeping. He'd deliberately got up earlier than Eddie to avoid any uncomfortable questions. "It's... complicated. I'm just driving her over the border for now."

"She's cute," Eddie commented.

Seth gave him a slightly confused, sidelong glance, and went back to reading the paper. "Sure."

"She's young," he said more pointedly, giving Seth a very deliberate look. Seth caught his eye, and choked on his coffee.  
  
"Jesus Eddie," he said. "It's not. It's not like that." He thought of Kate’s arms around him last night, the tickle of her breath against his skin and the swoop it caused in his stomach. Of how he watched her sleeping form, enraptured, for God knows how long, before he caught himself and the goofy smile he’d been wearing the whole time.  
  
It wasn’t _not_ like that.

"Oh it never is, is it Seth?"

"We're not like that, Eddie." It felt like a safe amendment to make.

"Oh so you just decided to keep her because your fatherly instincts came a calling?"

" _Keep_ her?" Seth yelped. "She - she.” Asked me, he didn’t say. That would just open a can of worms he didn’t feel like making Eddie swallow. “What was I supposed to do, leave her to fend for herself? I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fucking bastard."

"Oh I'm sure that's why," Eddie said slowly.

"Eddie I swear to God."

"Just be careful," he said. Then paused. "Is she at least legal?"

"Eddie."  
  
“Because... I can’t help but notice the sheets I left you aren’t on the couch.”  
  
“ _Eddie_.”

"Well, fine, but even if nothing's happening, it's just gonna make your life easier if you're not babysitting. In the eyes of the law, I mean."

"Yes she's eighteen. Now, she’s eighteen."

"Christ."

Despite it all, Seth sighed. "I know."

Kate came in a few moments later, in a shirt that used to belong to Seth once upon a time and a pair of now-clean jeans. He'd seen her morning state before, but given the context of the conversation her disheveled state looked obscene. Seth looked away sharply like he had caught her getting dressed.

"Good morning," she said sleepily. The two of them grunted in response, Seth's a lot more deliberately nonchalant.

She leant over him to grab his coffee but he slapped her hand. Kate let out an indignant noise, which he mimicked, prompting her to roll her eyes. "Fine," she said. "You don't put enough sugar anyway."

"Oh I'm sweet enough, darling," he drawled in an exaggeration of her own slight twang and she rolled her eyes again, but this time with little laugh. In response to it, he felt himself start to smile. It felt good to be playful again. Their moments of it before had been rare, but still present. It wasn’t until Eddie cleared his throat loudly that he realised his eyes hadn't left her, and when he looked over to Eddie's knowing look, the back of his neck burned and he went back to the paper guiltily.  
  
“Eddie,” she called sweetly. Both of the men turned to look at her. “Do you have any… baby photos of Seth?”  
  
“Oh,” he laughed heartily, looking at Seth.  
  
“No he does not,” Seth said, not looking up from the newspaper pages.  
  
“No?”  
  
“No, they were lost in a fire I started ten minutes ago.”  
  
“Eddie, please,” Kate said, now choosing to ignore him.  
  
“I’ll see what I can dig up,” he said, getting up while watching Seth’s reaction with muted glee.  
  
“Family means nothing these days,” Seth yelled after him, but Kate was giggling delightedly opposite him and he figured he could endure embarrassment if it meant Kate kept smiling at him like there was nothing keeping her down.  
  
He still leant over to steal her coffee, though.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
When they left, Eddie gave her a serious look. "If he starts giving you shit, don't take it. Ain't nothing like the stubbornness of a Gecko."

Kate just laughed. "Oh don't I know that, but I've dealt with a lot worse than Seth Gecko."

"And don't you hurt him either. He's made of softer stuff than he'd have you believe."

Seth could kill him. If he wasn't the only family left to him, maybe he would. He said nothing, but saw the questioning look Kate gave him out of the corner of his eye.

Watching Seth as he clenched his jaw and stared daggers at Eddie, she said, "I know," fondly, and Seth felt his angry expression falter, and all he could do was look at her.

"Take care, Seth," said Eddie, tearing Seth’s gaze away from Kate. This time, Seth didn’t see a drop of cynicism, or judgement or concern. Just fond understanding.

He wasn’t sure which was worse.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Well goodnight," he said. He was still kidding himself about her leaving, so he made one last stop. One last motel. If she knew he was absolutely milking their time together, she didn't say anything. Seth wanted to think that she wanted to stay with him for as long as she could as well, but after thinking back on their time together he couldn't think of why on Earth she'd feel that way.  
  
But still, he had made the offer: either they tried to drive as long as they could, through the night - which, they had done in the past; or they made another stop, and headed off bright and early. She chose to make another stop.

After picking up dinner and eating watching a movie, the two of them quietly got ready for bed. There was only one, but that wasn’t the reason Seth felt nervous, and he knew it. Kate asked him before switching off the lamp, but he could tell she wasn't falling asleep any easier than he was. 

He heard the rustling of sheets and Kate take a breath before she said, “Seth?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I wanted to… thank you.”  
  
“For what?”

"The other night," she said, "after Rafa -- after he was gone, you were. So nice to me."

Seth frowned at the ceiling. "Well damn Kate, I may be an asshole but I know to rein it in when a girl’s boyfriend has just died for her.”

Kate sat up, looking down at him in surprise. “He wasn’t my boyfriend.”

“Could have fooled me,” he said, secretly feeling a little relief. “But whatever, I'm not that much of a--”

“You know he asked me once,” said Kate. “Rafa. If you and I were…”

She didn’t finish her sentence and Seth was left in the silence to consider what she was saying to him.

“What did you tell him?” he asked, voice unexpectedly rough.

Kate didn't say anything, but when he turned to face her she didn’t look away. And somehow that said it al.

“Shit,” Seth said, pressing the heel of his palms into his eye sockets “Shit shit shit.”  
  
He had come to terms with wanting her, of how fucking messed up it made him, after everything he had done to her and her family. How because of it, he had no right at all to do anything about it. How he should stay away, let her live the rest of her life in peace, and do whatever he could to help her get to where she wanted to. But her.... _wanting him back_ was something that had never crossed his mind, and it made things all the more fucking complicated.  
  
How was he supposed to do this and let her leave anyway?  
  
“Seth,” said Kate. He pulled his hands away from his face and took a long, hard look at her. Under his gaze her breathing got shallower, and her eyelids fluttered. Who was he to resist? Seth swept down and kissed her - desperate and furious at himself that it had taken him this long, on their last night, to be honest with himself. He grabbed at her the way he wished he could grab at the time they had wasted, hands in her hair, mouth hot on her chin.  
  
As they kept kissing, he waited for their wind down, when they were able to calm down, but the moment never came. When Kate was catching her breath Seth still didn't want to stop kissing her, and so ended up kissing her jaw, throat, and then the exposed part of her panting chest. When Seth leant back with a deep inhale, Kate shyly but determinedly did the same. He watched in awe as she traced her lips across his heart, more turned on than he could fathom to see her taking charge.  
  
Kate, clutching at his shirt, pressed herself to him. Not to be outdone, Seth hooked his hands on her thighs and pulled her into his lap. Also conscious about himself rapidly getting hard, he tried to maneuver himself but no matter what he did it pressed against her in some way. From the sounds it drew from Kate, that escaped her in seconds they pulled apart to breathe, and how her hands never left the back of his neck, keeping him there, she didn't seem to mind. As if to prove it, letting out a breathless sound, Kate closed her eyes and ground her hips down. Seth thought he was going to pass out. With a half-surprised, half-aroused yelp his hands flew out to grip her waist.  
  
She kept moving, the two of them making needy noises as they found a rhythm. His mind was racing at a pace he couldn’t keep up with and before he knew it he was rapsing out, “Don’t go.”  
  
He felt her instantly still in his arms, and his stomach sank.  
  
Kate pulled back, looking at him. She looked entirely at a loss for words, which was fair enough - he wasn’t sure what he wanted her response to be, or why he said it in the first place. After seeming to process his words her face crumbled and she leant forward, clutching at him.  
  
“I’m not going to give up on Scott,” she said into his neck. “I can’t - he’s… He’s family. I don’t care what else he’s become, I can’t just… I have to try.”  
  
He realised, guiltily, that she was afraid to say it. To drive him away, probably, as a result of doing so. It went against everything he had been saying about Richie, and about forgetting him the way she had to forget her own undead dead brother.   
  
“I know,” he said, taking her by the shoulders and making her look at him so she knew he was serious, and didn’t blame her for anything. Her eyes roamed his face uncertainly and he pushed her hair back, away from her face. Despite how his chest felt hollow, he gave her an encouraging smile.  
  
The mood was killed. Which, was probably for the best. It would have hurt all the more to let her go if they had slept together - if he had made her, seen her, come undone in his arms; calling his name. To have come undone himself, deep inside her, the sweet smell of her hair, her skin, blotting out all his other senses. To have her, and lose her, would probably be harder than not at all.  
  
The two of them laid back down on the bed, too cautious to move closer. Seth's hand was in the space between them and Kate walked hers over to his and grasped his fingers in hers, giving them one, hesitant squeeze.   
  
Eventually they fell asleep, not saying another word to each other.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kate woke up to an empty bed. No note. With his track record it shouldn’t exactly have come as a surprise but still, to see Seth gone something plucked painfully in her chest.  
  
She thought… well, she didn’t know what she thought. And before she could figure out exactly what it was, she flung herself out of bed and started to get her things together. Which was when she saw none of it was in the room. For a moment she panicked about being robbed, but then something clicked in her mind.  
  
Scrambling for the door, she ran outside and squinted out into the motel parking lot. And there he was, leaning against the side of the car, looking out into the road. Maybe it was the relief at seeing him, but lit by the Texan sun, still wearing his bedhead, he looked so handsome her chest hurt. At the sound of the door opening he looked her way, eyes brightening to see her.  
  
“You’re a real deep sleeper, you know that?” he said wryly.  
  
Kate let go of the door, and it creaked to a close behind her. “What are you doing?”  
  
“You want some company?” He held his arms out, looking down at himself. Humbly, as if apologetic that he didn’t have more to offer her, than himself.  
  
There were no words, so she just bit her lip and nodded, desperately trying to keep her tears from falling. His shoulders fell in naked relief, and it was absurd to her that it was even a question, and that he had any doubt she would answer any differently. She strode over to him, just shy of a run, and Seth put his hands in his pockets, not moving, not breaking eye-contact.  
  
Looking up at him, Kate exhaled sharply, and cupping his cheeks in her hands, standing on the tips of her toes to pepper kisses all over his face. Seth just smiled, eyes closed, and let her, one arm on the small of her back to steady her. When she got his lips a few times, his demeanour changed, and he hoisted her onto the door of the car. She wrapped herself around him, not caring who saw, locking her legs around his back.   
  
When they pulled away, Kate hopping off the door, ready to get into the passenger seat on the other side of the car, Seth spun the keys on his finger between them, offering them to her. She looked from them, back to his face, in surprise.  
  
“Lead the way,” he said simply, moving around the car to the other side. 

Gripping them excitedly in her hand, Kate slid in, heart racing as the car hummed to life. In the rearview mirror she could see the road behind them, and how far they'd driven.

But if she looked out in front of her, she saw how much there was to go. How much further they were going to go together.

Seth was watching her. He reached over and brushed her hair over her shoulder. "Ready, partner?"

She was.

**Author's Note:**

> this was something that was cooking up in my mind for a long time - the conversation with eddie at breakfast is where it all came from. it just popped in my head one day, on the tube, while I was thinking about the show, and what uncle eddie would have thought of kate. and of seth and kate together.
> 
> hope this is any good I have no idea anymore, please tell me what you think byeeeeee


End file.
